Empty Dreams!

Monday, June 27, 2011 by Sassy Girl


I play loud music
I read my favorite book
By the window seat I sit
To forget the pain, I just stare out

How am I suppose to feel
when I see you sitting next to her
Laughing at her silly jokes
Trying to impress her

How can I put a smile on my face
When I can't hold back my tears
How can I pretend everything is okay
When I am falling apart




How can I feel good
When the pain doesn't go away
When these scars and wounds
Reminds me of the LOVE I never had

How can I ever be myself again
When I no longer remember who I was
I'm just a wretched soul
with a broken heart and Empty Dreams












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Another sad song!

Sunday, June 12, 2011 by Sassy Girl

Every time I try to pen down my feelings, I get confused. No matter how hard I try no words comes out. I feel numb. I feel my mind is blank. I know my emotional level. It's always Hyper! But I still wonder Why do I struggle to write then!?! Why does my mind goes blank. Why do I feel numb. Why can't I feel anything!

I am left with nothing but a broken-heart and memories. I am empty inside. I feel nothing anymore. I feel no happiness, I feel no pain either. I have been hurt like never before. I have been in pain for such a long time now, I no longer know the difference between happiness and misery.

The suffering has wrecked my soul beyond repairs. And I know every single day I am slowly dying inside. But I can't help but think about my soul-wrecker. He never told me "He Loved Me". But I fantasized about him. I wanted him to Love me madly. I had a dream. I had Hope.

I can't, I just can't look at him. I look away because I'm not Okay. I only wish he knew how much I loved him! Every special occasion I think of him. In fact there ain't no time that i don't think about him. Now it's too late. It's too late to let go! I know it will destroy me. But do I have a choice!?! They say as if i could be saved. But I am already a wrecked. What good would it do if I let go now!

Now all I am left with is shattered dreams and a broken-heart! May be my life is just another sad song!
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The letter I will never send!

Saturday, June 04, 2011 by Sassy Girl

Dear Stranger,

I am writing this letter to you, because i will never have the guts to tell you how i feel about you.Do you remember 14Th Feb 2011!? Of course I don't expect you to. But I remember that evening. I did the impossible that day. I never thought i would have so much courage to go up to you and talk.But it happened. It just happened. And darling you should know that it was not easy for me. I mustered the courage to sit beside you. I still remember how i felt. My heart skipped a beat.I was fighting back the urge to kiss you.

A very strange feeling occupied my heart. A happy feeling. But you were listening to songs and not bothered even talk to me. That act of yours was a little disheartening. I just ignored it. As we both sat so close to each other, there was a hurricane in my heart. When we started talking, i just couldn't concentrate. Your charm had done some sort of magic on me. Your smile captivated me. I loved your voice, the way you laugh, everything about you was enchanting.

I was studying your face, as we talked.Your beard and mustache were giving me such a heart ache. Honestly, i was itching to touch your beard. I just couldn't take my eyes off you. I wondered as i gazed at you. Those beautiful sparkly eyes had set my heart on fire. And you had no idea about these swirling emotions i was going through. It was so casual for you, but it was very special for me. Iwill never forget the way you made me feel that evening. I secretly wished, you would fall in love with me.


For some strange reason I had convinced myself, I'm not a kind of girl boys would fall in love with.A pair of jeans, tee and canvas shoes is what defines me. Nothing less than a Gothic princess. but still I want you to feel the same way for me, as I feel for you. It sounds impossible though. I envy every girl who has ever got a chance to hug you, be with you. And i make the same wish everyday, I want to be that Girl, you will fall crazily in Love with.

 Every time i get to see your face, my face gleams with happiness. Every morning when you have breakfast with the bunch of bunch of beautiful girls, I sit in a corner and sneakily glance at you. I hate to see you surrounded by all those girls. My poor heart would not let go of you. Now it's too late. I have insanely fallen in love with you. I am blinded in your love. I started assuming many crazy things like, you have a thing for me. I assumed your smiley-status messages on Facebook was for me. I fooled my heart. It was clearly visible you are madly in love with the pretty Bengali girl. I could hear my heart shatter. I deleted you from Facebook, i hate to admit it, I facebook-stalk you almost everyday. hoping for a sign that you love me too. But do fantasies ever come true!?

I highly doubt that. And now it hurts like hell to see your face, knowing that you will never love me back. I try to escape from the reality. I put on my music loud and try to ignore you. But how can I. It's seems like impossible to me. You and the other girl talk in shuttle, laugh out loud, it just makes matter worse for me.I tell myself I should have been in her place, talking and laughing with you. I tell myself you and I are a perfect match. Dear god, i tell myself lot of silly things. I knew i would end up heart broken by a guy i have never dated. It's a tragedy! But you can't break a broken heart. Can you?

I know you have no idea about all this shit am going through right now. I wish, I wish you could read my mind. I wish.....

Love Forever,
BrokenHeart
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Happy feet!

Monday, May 23, 2011 by Sassy Girl

It was my first day at Hip Hop Dance India studio. I was dressed up right for the evening, a loose tee, cotton track pants and dancing shoes. There were mirrors on all four walls of the tiny room that could hold a maximum of 15 students for the routine. The ambiance made me feel that i belonged to the coolest dance crew in town. Loud hip hop music was playing in one corner. Our dance captain Sri stood in front facing the mirror and started with the basic warm-up . The funky beats had already got me in the mood for dancing, but i didn't know that there was something called "warm-ups" before the dance.

I enjoyed the warm-up session. Initially the stretching and bending seemed easy, so did touching the tow without bending the knees,, neck exercise and many more. But after a while i could not feel my arms. They were hanging in the air. the push-ups were torturous. I felt my spinal cord might have damaged. I was sweating like a pig and was gasping for air. After the warm-up session, which lasted nearly for twenty minutes, my body stopped responding. It felt like my bones had been crashed by a hammer. My legs were completely lifeless - like i had just come out of a roller coaster ride. After the warm-up sessions Sri started with some basic hip-hop styles and moves. With much difficulty I managed to move my legs.

Sri wrapped up after a few minutes of practice. I was totally unaware of the nightmare i was to go through that night. When i looked at myself in the mirror, the sight was not at all pleasant. Dance was supposed to be elegant, pleasant and beautiful. But i was sweaty and horrendous. I was torn and discouraged. The thought of giving up also crossed my mind. No great quotes I had read came to my rescue at such times of struggle.


After the class I had only one desire left in my heart - to sleep like a baby. Suddenly my bed seemed like the coziest place on this planet. Something terrible was awaiting me. before curling up in my blanket, i said my prayers, most of which included about my body pain, how a miracle would be a great blessing, followed by a faint Amen. My body was groaning. What happened next was a blur as i fell asleep.


The morning was most painful. My mind was still in surreal state. But as i put my feet on the ground I was wide awake with my body and mind in sync. neither the chirping birds not the glowing sun cheered me up. Nothing at all was soothing. But as I started walking I felt the pain's gone. Only when i tried to climb the stairs, I realized what had happened to my body. I asked Sri if it's normal to feel such terrible pain. I was happy to hear the affirmative. Even though I was limping for the next couple of days, I continued to attend classes. A few days later after experiencing the nerve-wracking pain, I was alright.

After a month passed I got used to warm-up sessions but felt i was not learning much. Watching the dance movies religiously, I was eager to do some breath taking moves - especially the b boying and flooring move, where one stands on the hands, spins his head on the ground at such ease. I even tried some moves, but thankfully didn't hurt myself. I decided to learn it from Sri rather than trying it myself.

The dance moves that i watched in movies looked easy. I used to think that given a chance I could dance like that. But, first day warm-up had brought me back to senses. Hollywood actor Keanu Reevs once said that "Basically it starts with four months of training, just basic stretching, kicking and punching. Then you come to the choreography and getting ready to put the dance together". Now I know what exactly Keanu was talking about. I ams till in the phase of warm-ups and stretching.


Nevertheless dance is a true inspiration to me. I have millions of reasons why I love dancing. A dancer is elegant, graceful and full of energy.Endless enthusiasm,dedication and discipline are what make a great dancer. An important ingredient that separates a great dancer from a good dancer is "Passion". On stage when the limelight falls, it feels like stepping on a heavenly stairs. the entire audience watches as the dancer accumulates as much energy as he can to put on a great show. When the music plays, the pain, the fear, jealousy and the hatred all are forgotten.

On stage it's just the dancer and the music. The soul, the body, and the mind are in sync to create some magic on stage leaving the spectators spellbound. The dancers capture the heart of the people. Every dancer waits for that one moment, one chance and one stage where he can dance like it's his last dance. The road to that stage isn't that easy. Rejections in auditions are heart breaking. The bumps on the road urge me to give up my hope and dream of dancing. But then dancers come to my rescue.

Dancers have always inspired me. Some legends have left behind their signature dance moves behind as their legacy. The famous eternal "moonwalk" is my all time Favorite. I just cannot forget the magic it created. I have plenty of reasons why people should dance. But I see no reason why they shouldn't ! So put on your dancing shoes, honey, we are gonna do a little bit of popping and locking, little bit of hip and hop. And don't tell me you have two left feet, they are actually a pair of happy feet!
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I Will Be Your Moon

Tuesday, February 22, 2011 by Sassy Girl


I love the way you smile
I love the way it reaches your eye
The ecstasy of it, takes me high
let's escape this world
And like love birds, let's fly

I love it when you hold my hand
You couldn't see, I melted inside
I thought my heart would explode
I love this pain,
Everytime i see you, Boy i fall for you so hard

I love the way you sneakily glance at me
It's when i go weak in my knees
Talkin' to you in my mind is so easy
But when i see you,
I fight the butterflies, I can't even say 'Hi'

I love to lay beside you under the stars
those silent moments, those unsaid words,
First summer rain, first kiss
Madness of first love is like a fresh breeze
Those moments, i wish i could freeze

I love those mushy songs and movies
Which magically fits you and me in the stories
In my heart I know, our love will outlive us
When the sun goes down, I promise
I will be your moon in your darkest time!

~ VaSuDhA
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Struggle

Saturday, January 08, 2011 by Sassy Girl


I try to write a song
for my lost love
the fake promise of
first kiss and first love!

The empty page lies
And I search for the word
Deep down in my heart
But I failed, failed again

It's the lonely moon
The stars above the clouds
Longing for love, the lazy ocean too
Fighting for love, I'm yet another fool

I kiss goodbye to my dreams, my love
Your memories, will always live
About you and me, I struggle to write
But, maybe there is no song in my heart!



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2010 was such a goddamn Drama Queen! 2011!?

Thursday, December 30, 2010 by Sassy Girl

As the year 2010 comes to an end I suddenly realize that I need to make my 2011 resolution!

Some days I was blue. Some days it was too cold. And those days when it rained cats and dogs. Days I laughed so hard I peed a little. I laughed till I cried. Some days I cried inconsolably. Some days I was spiritual, other days I partied like a rock star. Many occasions I danced on the dance floor. I fell madly in love with him. I melted each time he gazed at me. I was breathless when he sat beside me. Some days I danced till my bones were sore. I finally wore that party dress and the sexy stilettos. I straightened my hair. I shopped a lot.

I craved for more and more love and adventure. I struggled to write. Some nights were lonely and miserable. Some nights I fantasized about him. Some nights my mind was numb no words could describe it. I waited for a shooting star. I tried counting stars. I was lost in the crowd. I found myself again staring in the empty space. Often I stared out of the window and wished for small pleasures. There were happy days. There were hopelessly miserable days. The year is gone but has left its fragrance around for the coming New Year! I treasure each and every moment of this year.



The coming year I am sure is gonna be much more exciting one. I am gonna dance more. I am gonna make each day a happy one. I will be regular to church. Bright colors. There’s gonna be pink shades of course. Fresh funky fashion. Gonna freak out more with my friends. One strict resolution is to read plenty of books and polish my writing (I like it) I will learn to play a musical instrument. Drums, violin/guitar. Gonna be more funky, crazy and wild (super like it).

I will never ever let my confidence let down. I will find a way out of any obstacle in life. I will talk and think positive. I will declare each day happiness, prosperity, love, peace. No bugger can break me down. Even if I come across thorns I will always remember the rose. Some days I might feel blue. But a butterfly will always reminds me that after all my life isn’t a black and white movie.

Of course there might be days when I will be fragile. Days when I will cry for no reason. There will be sun, rain, moon and stars till the end. Season of wilderness shall pass. Goodness and prosperity shall welcome me and embrace me. Amidst this I will walk with my chin up. Good or bad I will enjoy each day.

I wanna fall in love with myself all over again <3

Only as high as I reach I can grow, Only as far as I seek I can go, Only as deep as I look I can see, Only as much as I dream I can be ~ Karen


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